What's wrong with being selfish?
“๐๐๐๐ฉ’๐จ ๐ฌ๐ง๐ค๐ฃ๐ ๐ฌ๐๐ฉ๐ ๐๐๐๐ฃ๐ ๐จ๐๐ก๐๐๐จ๐?” Looking straight into my eyes, my coach responded, as an answer to my question one-time years ago and left me dumbfounded ๐ณ
Today, a common response that I often get from my clients when discussing the subject of self-care and putting their needs first is – “๐ฃ๐ถ๐ต ๐ ๐ง๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ญ ๐ด๐ฐ ๐ด๐ฆ๐ญ๐ง๐ช๐ด๐ฉ”, and I find myself echoing my coach’s words back – “what’s wrong with being selfish?”
Answer: ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!!! ๐
My big take away from that session with my coach years ago, reshaped my entire perspective.
๐ซถ๐ฝ Self-Ish as in ๐ญ๐ช๐ฌ๐ฆ-๐ด๐ฆ๐ญ๐ง, meaning you prioritise your needs and interests, carries a negative connotation in the society because it also implies a lack of consideration, care, and empathy for others. That’s why there is so much guilt around putting one’s own needs first.
๐ฏ Here’s the thing though – ๐ฝ๐๐๐๐ถ๐ป๐ด ๐๐ผ๐๐ฟ ๐ป๐ฒ๐ฒ๐ฑ๐ ๐ณ๐ถ๐ฟ๐๐ ๐๐ข๐๐ฆ ๐ก๐ข๐ง ๐บ๐ฒ๐ฎ๐ป ๐๐ผ๐ ๐ฑ๐ผ๐ป’๐ ๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ฟ๐ฒ ๐ฎ๐ฏ๐ผ๐๐ ๐ผ๐๐ต๐ฒ๐ฟ๐. ๐ง๐ต๐ฒ๐ ๐ฎ๐ฟ๐ฒ ๐ก๐ข๐ง ๐บ๐๐๐๐ฎ๐น๐น๐ ๐ฒ๐ ๐ฐ๐น๐๐๐ถ๐๐ฒ.
๐๐ข๐ท๐ฆ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ช๐ด ๐ฑ๐ฐ๐ด๐ต ๐ง๐ฐ๐ณ ๐ญ๐ข๐ต๐ฆ๐ณ, ๐ด๐ฐ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ค๐ข๐ฏ ๐ค๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ฆ ๐ฃ๐ข๐ค๐ฌ ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ช๐ต.
Look at it this way – you cannot pour from an empty cup. The more you have the more you can give ๐
When you, in your heart, feel energised, cared for, looked after, healthy, loved, and happy - from that space, you can give more authentically and abundantly to others.
โWhereas having to stretch yourself and give when you yourself feel depleted breeds resentment, anger, and unhappiness. Not only is it unhealthy, but it is also a great recipe for creating dysfunction in any relationship.
๐ Let’s be clear, I am not advocating for self-involvement, operating without integrity, and doing things deliberately at the expense of others with the intent to cause hurt.
I am talking about a state of BALANCE. Functioning from a space of wellbeing so you can pour love and care from an open heart that is overflowing with gratitude, generosity, and graciousness๐
๐ ๐ฌ๐ผ๐ ๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ฟ๐ถ๐ป๐ด ๐ณ๐ผ๐ฟ ๐๐ผ๐๐ฟ๐๐ฒ๐น๐ณ ๐ถ๐ ๐๐ต๐ฒ ๐๐น๐๐ถ๐บ๐ฎ๐๐ฒ ๐ฎ๐ฐ๐ ๐ผ๐ณ ๐น๐ผ๐๐ฒ ๐ณ๐ผ๐ฟ ๐๐ต๐ผ๐๐ฒ ๐๐ต๐ผ ๐บ๐ฎ๐๐๐ฒ๐ฟ ๐บ๐ผ๐๐ ๐๐ผ ๐๐ผ๐ โค๏ธ
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