By Varsha Chowdhury
•
August 22, 2023
YES! I am a feminist! I once met a gentleman, at a spiritual retreat no less, who said to me, and I quote, “gender discrimination, misogyny and women getting paid less at work is a myth”. I was so astonished that my reaction was to laugh. But inside my head: “Holy shit! Have you been living under a rock?” For those of you who know me as a person, you know that I am a calm, easy-going, albeit passionate, person who doesn’t anger easily. However, if there’s one thing that rattles my cage it is discrimination of any kind, but particularly sexism. Just like every other woman on this planet, I have faced my fair share of sexual innuendos & harassment, disparaging comments, double standards, and a constant barrage of belittling assumptions about my intelligence and capabilities. It's as if society handed me a script, with each page detailing the limitations I should accept solely because of my gender. I've experienced complete disregard of my opinions & suggestions, endured the microaggressions that chip away at my confidence, and navigated the intricate web of expectations woven around my life choices. Oh, and let's not forget all the times I have been shamed and lectured for having the ‘audacity’ of speaking up! Just like ALL my soul sisters out there! It’s a constant fight for respect, to be heard, equal opportunities and freedom to choose. And for all the progress in the right direction, the change is a double-edged sword of a convoluted reality full of paradoxes. On the one hand women are encouraged and celebrated for success in their careers, while in the same breath criticised and shamed for ‘neglecting’ their family and prioritising their work. They are expected to have a full-time job, working as hard as anyone else, and be a full-time homemaker – cooking, cleaning, raising kids – with little to no support, at the same time. In the modern society, girls seemingly have the freedom to dress as they please. But is it true freedom if their choice then gets judged and called ‘provocative’ and other highly derogatory names if it’s deemed revealing? OR conversely too plain, simple, boring, and unattractive. When as women we are confident and outspoken, we are overbearing & ‘bossy’. If we are accommodating, supportive and nurturing we are a ‘doormat’ and/or a pushover. Women who are friendly and approachable are ‘easy’ and those of us who are more discerning are ‘stuck up’. When we are emotional, we bear the cross of being too sensitive and demonstrating our intelligence and aptitude, makes us a bitch. There is no winning and there is no end to the labels for us. And all the above is only the tip of the iceberg. Every action, word, behaviour, gesture is scrutinised and judged no matter what. Jane Goodall put it nicely - “It actually doesn’t take much to be considered a difficult woman. That’s why there are so many of us." The most disheartening aspect of misogyny though lies in its insidious success in turning women against each other. We judge, criticise, and persecute our own sisters for everything we accuse the opposite gender of doing. So, any woman who asserts herself, voices her beliefs, makes her own decisions, shapes her own path, and embraces life on her own terms automatically embodies feminism through her refusal to conform, while empowering other women to do the same by example or otherwise. Being a feminist means having the courage to challenge norms, to question biases, to rise above the social limitations and to embrace change. Feminism is a world where courage meets compassion and equality challenges tradition. It isn't just a label; it is a powerful stance against the odds in the world we live in. However, there seems to be a strong negative connotation and misconceptions associated with the word, and I am endeavouring to bust those myths as well. Feminism is NOT about misandry. It is not a US vs THEM. Feminism is rooted in the conviction of equality; It's the spirit that ignites when you see unfairness and decide to make a difference. The beauty of feminism lies in its inclusivity. It's not about women fighting against men; it's about humanity fighting against injustice. Toxic masculinity has done no favours to anyone. It's put men into boxes too, where showing vulnerability or sensitivity is deemed weak. Just as feminism fights for women's rights, it fights for men's right to express themselves authentically and break free from society's rigid norms too. Gender equality is a puzzle where each piece matters. When men and women work together, we are piecing together a world where everyone thrives. So, whether you are a woman pushing through barriers or a man advocating for equality, you're a part of a movement that's rewriting history. Feminism isn't just about women's rights; it's about human rights. It's about creating a world where every person is free to chase their dreams without prejudice, where the spark of the individual outshines the gender on a birth certificate. Varsha The Liberation Project