The Good Girl Syndrome

What's wrong with being selfish? “𝙒𝙝𝙖𝙩’𝙨 𝙬𝙧𝙤𝙣𝙜 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙗𝙚𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙨𝙚𝙡𝙛𝙞𝙨𝙝?” Looking straight into my eyes, my coach responded, as an answer to my question one-time years ago and left me dumbfounded 😳 Today, a common response that I often get from my clients when discussing the subject of self-care and putting their needs first is – “𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘐 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭 𝘴𝘰 𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧𝘪𝘴𝘩”, and I find myself echoing my coach’s words back – “what’s wrong with being selfish?” Answer: ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!!! 😏 My big take away from that session with my coach years ago, reshaped my entire perspective. 🫶🏽 Self-Ish as in 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦-𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧, meaning you prioritise your needs and interests, carries a negative connotation in the society because it also implies a lack of consideration, care, and empathy for others. That’s why there is so much guilt around putting one’s own needs first. 💯 Here’s the thing though – 𝗽𝘂𝘁𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗻𝗲𝗲𝗱𝘀 𝗳𝗶𝗿𝘀𝘁 𝗗𝗢𝗘𝗦 𝗡𝗢𝗧 𝗺𝗲𝗮𝗻 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗱𝗼𝗻’𝘁 𝗰𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿𝘀. 𝗧𝗵𝗲𝘆 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗡𝗢𝗧 𝗺𝘂𝘁𝘂𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗲𝘅𝗰𝗹𝘂𝘀𝗶𝘃𝗲. 𝘚𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘳, 𝘴𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘣𝘢𝘤𝘬 𝘵𝘰 𝘪𝘵. Look at it this way – you cannot pour from an empty cup. The more you have the more you can give 💞 When you, in your heart, feel energised, cared for, looked after, healthy, loved, and happy - from that space, you can give more authentically and abundantly to others. ❗Whereas having to stretch yourself and give when you yourself feel depleted breeds resentment, anger, and unhappiness. Not only is it unhealthy, but it is also a great recipe for creating dysfunction in any relationship. 💔 Let’s be clear, I am not advocating for self-involvement, operating without integrity, and doing things deliberately at the expense of others with the intent to cause hurt. I am talking about a state of BALANCE. Functioning from a space of wellbeing so you can pour love and care from an open heart that is overflowing with gratitude, generosity, and graciousness🌈 💝 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗰𝗮𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳 𝗶𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘂𝗹𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝗮𝗰𝘁 𝗼𝗳 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘀𝗲 𝘄𝗵𝗼 𝗺𝗮𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗺𝗼𝘀𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝘆𝗼𝘂 ❤️

7 Awesome Benefits of Conscious Dance-Movement 👉 Self-Expression & Emotional Release 🎭🎭 Conscious dance-movement provides a safe & non-judgmental space to express & release pent-up emotions. Through free-form movement, you can tap into your emotional experiences, allowing for a cathartic release of stress, tension, & suppressed feelings. 👉 Mind-Body Connection & Awareness 🧘‍♂️🧠💡 Focusing on the sensations & movements of your body fosters mindfulness & present-moment awareness. This increased awareness can lead to improved body image, enhanced proprioception, & a deeper understanding of how emotions manifest physically. 👉 Enhanced Body Confidence 💪🙂 Engaging in conscious dance allows you to appreciate & celebrate your body for all its unique abilities rather than focusing solely on appearance. 👉 Positive Self-Image 😎 Through the freedom of movement & expression you learn to embrace your body without judgment or comparison fostering a deep sense of self-acceptance & appreciation cultivating a positive relationship with your body. 👉 Improved Flexibility and Coordination🤸 The practice encourages you to explore various postures & gestures promoting flexibility & coordination as you move your body in different ways, enhancing motor skills & spatial awareness. 👉 Release Of Neurotransmitters 🧠🚀 The physical activity & expressive nature of conscious dance stimulate the release of neurotransmitters like dopamine & serotonin, the "feel-good" chemicals for mood regulation, promoting a sense of happiness, pleasure, & overall well-being. 👉 Boosting Creativity 🌈🌈 The free-form nature of conscious dance encourages creative expression tapping into creativity as you explore different movements, allowing for self-discovery & the development of a unique movement vocabulary.

YES! I am a feminist! I once met a gentleman, at a spiritual retreat no less, who said to me, and I quote, “gender discrimination, misogyny and women getting paid less at work is a myth”. I was so astonished that my reaction was to laugh. But inside my head: “Holy shit! Have you been living under a rock?” For those of you who know me as a person, you know that I am a calm, easy-going, albeit passionate, person who doesn’t anger easily. However, if there’s one thing that rattles my cage it is discrimination of any kind, but particularly sexism. Just like every other woman on this planet, I have faced my fair share of sexual innuendos & harassment, disparaging comments, double standards, and a constant barrage of belittling assumptions about my intelligence and capabilities. It's as if society handed me a script, with each page detailing the limitations I should accept solely because of my gender. I've experienced complete disregard of my opinions & suggestions, endured the microaggressions that chip away at my confidence, and navigated the intricate web of expectations woven around my life choices. Oh, and let's not forget all the times I have been shamed and lectured for having the ‘audacity’ of speaking up! Just like ALL my soul sisters out there! It’s a constant fight for respect, to be heard, equal opportunities and freedom to choose. And for all the progress in the right direction, the change is a double-edged sword of a convoluted reality full of paradoxes. On the one hand women are encouraged and celebrated for success in their careers, while in the same breath criticised and shamed for ‘neglecting’ their family and prioritising their work. They are expected to have a full-time job, working as hard as anyone else, and be a full-time homemaker – cooking, cleaning, raising kids – with little to no support, at the same time. In the modern society, girls seemingly have the freedom to dress as they please. But is it true freedom if their choice then gets judged and called ‘provocative’ and other highly derogatory names if it’s deemed revealing? OR conversely too plain, simple, boring, and unattractive. When as women we are confident and outspoken, we are overbearing & ‘bossy’. If we are accommodating, supportive and nurturing we are a ‘doormat’ and/or a pushover. Women who are friendly and approachable are ‘easy’ and those of us who are more discerning are ‘stuck up’. When we are emotional, we bear the cross of being too sensitive and demonstrating our intelligence and aptitude, makes us a bitch. There is no winning and there is no end to the labels for us. And all the above is only the tip of the iceberg. Every action, word, behaviour, gesture is scrutinised and judged no matter what. Jane Goodall put it nicely - “It actually doesn’t take much to be considered a difficult woman. That’s why there are so many of us." The most disheartening aspect of misogyny though lies in its insidious success in turning women against each other. We judge, criticise, and persecute our own sisters for everything we accuse the opposite gender of doing. So, any woman who asserts herself, voices her beliefs, makes her own decisions, shapes her own path, and embraces life on her own terms automatically embodies feminism through her refusal to conform, while empowering other women to do the same by example or otherwise. Being a feminist means having the courage to challenge norms, to question biases, to rise above the social limitations and to embrace change. Feminism is a world where courage meets compassion and equality challenges tradition. It isn't just a label; it is a powerful stance against the odds in the world we live in. However, there seems to be a strong negative connotation and misconceptions associated with the word, and I am endeavouring to bust those myths as well. Feminism is NOT about misandry. It is not a US vs THEM. Feminism is rooted in the conviction of equality; It's the spirit that ignites when you see unfairness and decide to make a difference. The beauty of feminism lies in its inclusivity. It's not about women fighting against men; it's about humanity fighting against injustice. Toxic masculinity has done no favours to anyone. It's put men into boxes too, where showing vulnerability or sensitivity is deemed weak. Just as feminism fights for women's rights, it fights for men's right to express themselves authentically and break free from society's rigid norms too. Gender equality is a puzzle where each piece matters. When men and women work together, we are piecing together a world where everyone thrives. So, whether you are a woman pushing through barriers or a man advocating for equality, you're a part of a movement that's rewriting history. Feminism isn't just about women's rights; it's about human rights. It's about creating a world where every person is free to chase their dreams without prejudice, where the spark of the individual outshines the gender on a birth certificate. Varsha The Liberation Project

Hey LiberationProject -fam!👋 As my experience with coaching, and life in general, grows, I realise that one of the areas I get a lot of questions, observations, concerns, and frustrations from clients when it comes to relationships fall under the broad category of receiving, or lack thereof, Emotional Support. It seems like the understanding around this subject is mostly abstract. Most people, especially men, find it hard to translate what emotional support means in real terms. What does it look, sound and feel like? What ‘actions’ can it take the form of? Hence, this post with practical tips and simple dos & don’ts that will assist anyone who has ever felt lost and asked themselves what it means to be ‘emotionally there’ for their significant others, friends, and family. This post is intended to help you, through awareness, to be there for your loved ones emotionally in times of need in tangible ways that will make them feel deeply supported, cared for, understood, heard, and show your love and thoughtfulness in in ways beyond words leading to nurturing your bond effortlessly. So, what’s the real deal when it comes to emotional support🤗💕 It's not just a catchphrase; it's about standing by your loved ones when they need it most. What can you do? 👂Listen with an Open Heart: Sometimes, all someone needs is a listening ear. Sit down, put away distractions, and lend them your full attention. Let them express themselves without judgment or interruption. 🤗Offer a Shoulder to Lean On: Emotional support means being that sturdy shoulder your friend can lean on. Whether through a hug, holding hands or just being fully present with them, shows that you're here for them, no matter what. 🤔Ask Thoughtful Questions: Assumptions are the killer of genuine support. You can never truly know how the other person is feeling so how can you know for sure what their true needs are? One of the easiest ways to being emotionally present is to ask them what you can do for them. Some examples of thoughtful questions are – “What do you need right now”? “Is there anything I can do to make it easier for you”? “How can I help”? “How can I best support you through this”? “Tell me what you need”. Any variations of these will do. 📣Validation and Affirmations: Remind them that their feelings are valid. Offer words of encouragement and let them know that you believe in them, love them unconditionally and that you are there for them no matter what. Just knowing that they have your loving support in and of itself will make all the difference in the world to them, because they won’t feel totally alone and isolated in their struggle anymore. 💬Check-in Regularly: Every so often ask them how they are feeling? If there’s anything you can do? A heartfelt text, call, or even a surprise visit shows that you genuinely care. It reiterates for them that they have you by their side. 🎁Acts of Kindness: Small gestures can have a big impact. Send them their favourite treat, a handwritten note, or anything that would help make their life easier, doing something to take some load off their mind etc. to let them know you're thinking of them. It really doesn’t take a lot. If ever in doubt, think what would make you feel supported if you were in their shoes? What would you need in a situation as theirs? And/or just ask them what they need. 🚫 Dos and Don'ts: Here's a quick guide: Dos : Respect their privacy ; let them share at their own pace. Offer help , like running errands or doing chores. Respect their feelings , even if you don't fully understand. Show them love in the way they like , speak their love language. Ask them how they need to be supported. Be patient ; healing takes time. Don'ts : Don't minimise their feelings ; "It's not a big deal" is not helpful at all. Don't give unsolicited advice; sometimes, just listening is enough. Don't compare their situation to yours or someone else's. Don't force them to talk; let them open up as and when they're ready. Don't judge or criticise their emotions (or anything else). Emotional support is about creating a safe space where someone can be vulnerable without fear of judgment. Be the light in their life when things get tough. Treat them with love and kindness💪💖 #EmotionalSupportMatters #BeThereForOneAnother #SpreadLoveAndKindness

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